In the mean time, I do have something else to offer for your ocular pleasure. Again, it is the product of having to sit through another concert at school. (Just so you know, I don't waste all my time and money going to concerts I don't really pay attention to. It's a requirement for my degree. I have to attend 12 "approved" concerts throughout the semester. Most of them are classical performances by guest artists, but some of them are more "modern" in taste and therefore less easy to fall asleep to.) This concert was part of a Bass festival at ASU and it was "jazz night". I have one observation that I will offer about Jazz Musicians: They have no sense of time. I don't mean that they don't have rhythm (they have that in barrels and heaps). Just that they get so caught up in the music they forget that people, like myself, have short attention spans and that after playing a passage after so many times, if you don't have a great idea next, just end the $%@^ song! Sheesh. These songs only take up 1 page of music but these people drag it out to the equivalent of 47 pages. I'm not against jazz music, don't get me wrong at all. It's just there comes a point in the song when all they're doing is just beating a dead horse.
OK, now I'm really going to get started on the goods for today. While being subjected to this, I realized some things about different genre's of music. I'm going to compare/contrast, classical, jazz, and rock audiences. I got a kick out if it. I hope you do too.
Classical
-Audiences
-Smell good, shower daily
-Do not clap until entire song, including all movements, are finished
- Musicians
- Wear all black
- Best all around tone and intonation
-Both
- Hold completely still during entire show, even while clapping
Jazz
-Audiences
-smell REALLY good, superb taste in cologne
-Clap or yell after every solo and at end of song
-Musicians
- Wear all black
- Best at sight reading and improvisation
-Both
- Bob their heads like they have a twitch, tap their toes
Rock
-Audiences
-Don't remember when they last showered. What's cologne?
- Yell along with singer during entire song
-Musicians
- Wear all black
- Don't care about tone or intonation, just play
-Both
- Look like they're having an epileptic seizure, that's why there's Paramedics at all of the shows
The End
I'm sure there's other observations that I could make based on my concert attendance experiences, but I thought these were pretty funny and almost entirely true too!